You know the time,when she’s just got out the shower and she’s got a soft fluffy dressing gown on and a towel wrapped around her head. But underneath them she is all shiny and clean and naked and smelling of lovely soapy things.
It makes me so horny. Got to get her attention before she stars putting her make-up on or all will be lost. Reach out and give that dressing gown a tug. She’s pretending not to notice but I know. I’ll give it a harder tug next time she passes. There, got it this time, and I’m not going to let go. She falls back onto the bed. “Look do you mind” she protests, “I’m trying to … have you moved my hair dryer”
But she wont protest for long then we can have another shower, together all soft and soapy and slippery together. Then I shall give her hair dryer back
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When Hooters first opened their branch in Shanghai some of the wags on the expat circuit suggested it would be better named squeakers because the local lasses tend not to be so well endowed.
I always thought this to be rather unfair. I’ve known some Chinese girls to whom nature had been most generous. What’s more they were often very firm and well shaped.
But China is a vast country and there is no single shape you can call typically Chinese. In the north the girls are lighter skinned, tall and willowy. Like Zhang here. Many Chinese men say these are the most beautiful women in all of China.
I love them all, wherever they come from. And I really don’t mind if they have small or big boobs.
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I always feel a little bit envious of people who work in offices. Every day they have have a whole cornucopia of different females to look at.
In my line of work I only get to visit the offices of editors and agents. But it is always a thrill:
“Good morning Jennifer.” I’ll say to the receptionist.
“Good morning Mr. Totti”
“Feel free to call me Seymour”
“Ok Mr. Totti.” Then she gets on the phone; “Hi Christine Mr…. nooo, shh.. I’ll tell you at lunch, Mr Totti is here …” Presently she clicks the phone off. “Christine says the boss is around somewhere but she doesn’t know where, you are to go through anyway”
“Thanks Jennifer.” And off I go. I know the office well and most people know me. But there are lots of females I’d like to know better. Office assistants doing a gap year between school and university, secretaries, managers and even executives. Women whose ages range from about nineteen or twenty right through to late forties. And a good many of them are just gorgeous.
So remember all you nine to fivers, you get to ogle the Jennifers and Christines of this world every single day. Freewheeling perverts like me have to make do with a quick lech only once in a while.
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I received this chain letter the other day in which I was told that if I don’t pass it on my bollocks will shrivel up and I’ll never have sex again. Now if I send any kind of chain letter on to any of my friends they will never speak to me again … especially if their bollocks shrivel up as a result of them trashing it instead of sending it on.
But I’m not willing to take the risk of not passing it on and having my bollocks shrivel up so you, gentle readers, are it I’m afraid. But I have made it easy for you. All you have to do is cut and paste this link into an e-mail, send it to all your friends then relax, happy in the knowledge that you have at least provided them with some quality porn so they wont hate you, and taken the necessary steps to protect your own wedding tackle.
ps. I didn’t change anything so if there is any dodgy spelling in there blame the sex fairy!
MESSAGE BEGINS …
SEX
1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.
2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.
3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.
4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It’s more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don’t need special sneakers!
5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
(more…)
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