Club Totti

I received this chain letter the other day in which I was told that if I don’t pass it on my bollocks will shrivel up and I’ll never have sex again. Now if I send any kind of chain letter on to any of my friends they will never speak to me again … especially if their bollocks shrivel up as a result of them trashing it instead of sending it on.

But I’m not willing to take the risk of not passing it on and having my bollocks shrivel up so you, gentle readers, are it I’m afraid. But I have made it easy for you. All you have to do is cut and paste this link into an e-mail, send it to all your friends then relax, happy in the knowledge that you have at least provided them with some quality porn so they wont hate you, and taken the necessary steps to protect your own wedding tackle.

ps. I didn’t change anything so if there is any dodgy spelling in there blame the sex fairy!

MESSAGE BEGINS …

SEX

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It’s more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don’t need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

This message has been sent to you for good luck in sex. The original is in a room in the basement of the Dwight House Pub. It has been sent around the world nine times. Now sex has been sent to you. The “Hot Sex Fairy” will visit you within four days of receiving this message, provided you, in turn, send it on.

If you don’t, then you will never receive good sex again for the rest of your life. You will eventually become celibate, and your genitals will rot and fall off. This is no joke! Send copies to people you think need sex (who doesn’t?). Don’t send money, as the fate of your genitals has no price.

Do not keep this message, you must send it on within four days.

…MESSAGE ENDS

So remember that link; http://www.iceheat.org/clubtotti/2007/04/14/protect-your-genitals/ the sex fairy is watching