I like to sit in Svensons too. Maybe one day I’ll bump into Jolie. Click the thumbnails to see her in all her glory
There are loads more pics of the adorable Jolie
HERE

Why is the text in the table bold?

Of course they all new that as well, it’s the subject of a new exhibition at the Barbican in London; Seduced: Art and Sex from Antiquity to Now. The exhibition runs untill 27 January 2008 and looks at the representation of sex in art through the ages.

The works span 2,000 years so it must be art eh? It includes Roman sculptures, Indian manuscripts, Japanese prints, Chinese watercolours, Renaissance and Baroque paintings and 19th century photography with modern and contemporary art.

It presents the work of around 70 artists including Nobuyoshi Araki, Francis Bacon, Jeff Koons, Robert Mapplethorpe, Pablo Picasso, Rembrandt van Rijn and Andy Warhol among others.

The exhibition explores the idea of copulation as recreation a concept that is unique to human beings and bonobo, or pygmy chimpanzees.

Of course the chimps have no concept of guilt. They just fuck whenever, wherever and with whoever they feel like so the concept of porn never crossed their minds. But we humans have had to balance desire with religion and other control systems. Thus the need to escape to a quiet place with a few smutty pictures and a firm right hand.

In the mythology of various Oriental countries, the dragon is the supreme spiritual power, the most ancient emblem and the most ubiquitous motif in Oriental art. They represent celestial and terrestrial power, wisdom and strength.

The Dragon is one of the 12 animals in the Chinese zodiac which is used to designate years in the Chinese calendar. Like the western horroscope it is believed that each animal is associated with certain personality traits. People born in the Year of the Dragon are healthy, energetic and excitable. They are also honest, sensitive, brave. They inspire confidence and are warm-hearted.

Famous people born in the year of the dragon include:
Bruce Lee, Dr. Seuss, John Lennon, Salvador Dalí, Joan of Arc, Sigmund Freud, Florence Nightingale and Mae West.

But that is just me being a fuddy-duddy I guess. After all Geisha is her name not her job description. Far better to concentrate on what those gorgeous breasts feel like, what her skin tastes like. How it would be to make love with her, very slowly, beneath the trees on a balmy tropical afternoon.

So I’d go of and play football with the guys. We’d walk past the laundromat on the way back. Quite often they’d be in there, chatting. They’d giggle as we walked past but if I went in and said hello she’d turn red and look at her feet.

She was changing, she had tits now. I knew all about tits, I’d seen them in a magazine. I really wanted to see hers. They weren’t as big as the ones in the magazine but I didn’t care. I wanted to feel them on the palm of my hand.

I used to get hard-ons in class from thinking about her. Exams were the worst, she was always there, naked in my mind. I’d never actually seen her naked though, it was just her face on the bodies of magazine girls.

I turned 18 that winter, she the following spring. Then the summer came, the exams were over. She came round to my house for the first time in years, she came to tell me she’d be going to university in the Autumn. She was going up north. I’d be heading south.

“We haven’t been down to the old railway by the canal for ages,” she said.

“Do you want to to go now?” I asked. We talked a lot on the way, we sounded like grown ups. When we got there she said she had something in her eye, I leaned forward to have a look …

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Well I never thought I’d find myself quoting Oprah but in this case I thought it was prudent to do so. According to Oprah, or rather according to Dr Oz who was presumably a guest on her show, if you have more than 200 orgasms a year, you can reduce your physiologic age by six years.

It’s true!, it was on Oprah. Here send this link anonymously to your wives and girlfriends: http://www.oprah.com/health/oz/
oz_20070515_350_111.jhtml . I won’t make it an active link, she might get pissed at me sending hundreds of horny porn hunters over there. Just cut and paste the italics.

Now, according to Dr Oz, “…having sex with someone that you care for deeply is one of the ways we achieve that Zen experience that we all crave as human beings. It’s really a spiritual event for folks when they’re with someone they love and they can consummate it with sexual activity.”

And I agree entirely, I care for all my partners deeply. Even the one night stands.

Now this got me thinking. If I apply the threesome+ pleasure ratio that I discussed in The Math of Sex article here, and take myself to the Darling Massage Parlour for happy hour four afternoons a week I could notch up over 400 already. If I then add in casual sex and a liberal sprinkling of bargirls and I could get the total over 600 easily. Thus reducing my age by 18 years. That would make me a very eligible bachelor indeed.

Click on the picture of Dido to see her naked.

Watching this little masturbation orgy might help you get the idea. It really made me want to dive down in there and help them out.

I always thought this to be rather unfair. I’ve known some Chinese girls to whom nature had been most generous. What’s more they were often very firm and well shaped.

But China is a vast country and there is no single shape you can call typically Chinese. In the north the girls are lighter skinned, tall and willowy. Like Zhang here. Many Chinese men say these are the most beautiful women in all of China.

I love them all, wherever they come from. And I really don’t mind if they have small or big boobs.

I always feel a little bit envious of people who work in offices. Every day they have have a whole cornucopia of different females to look at.

In my line of work I only get to visit the offices of editors and agents. But it is always a thrill:

“Good morning Jennifer.” I’ll say to the receptionist.

“Good morning Mr. Totti”

“Feel free to call me Seymour”

“Ok Mr. Totti.” Then she gets on the phone; “Hi Christine Mr…. nooo, shh.. I’ll tell you at lunch, Mr Totti is here …” Presently she clicks the phone off. “Christine says the boss is around somewhere but she doesn’t know where, you are to go through anyway”

“Thanks Jennifer.” And off I go. I know the office well and most people know me. But there are lots of females I’d like to know better. Office assistants doing a gap year between school and university, secretaries, managers and even executives. Women whose ages range from about nineteen or twenty right through to late forties. And a good many of them are just gorgeous.

So remember all you nine to fivers, you get to ogle the Jennifers and Christines of this world every single day. Freewheeling perverts like me have to make do with a quick lech only once in a while.

But I’m not willing to take the risk of not passing it on and having my bollocks shrivel up so you, gentle readers, are it I’m afraid. But I have made it easy for you. All you have to do is cut and paste this link into an e-mail, send it to all your friends then relax, happy in the knowledge that you have at least provided them with some quality porn so they wont hate you, and taken the necessary steps to protect your own wedding tackle.

ps. I didn’t change anything so if there is any dodgy spelling in there blame the sex fairy!

MESSAGE BEGINS …

SEX

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It’s more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don’t need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

This message has been sent to you for good luck in sex. The original is in a room in the basement of the Dwight House Pub. It has been sent around the world nine times. Now sex has been sent to you. The “Hot Sex Fairy” will visit you within four days of receiving this message, provided you, in turn, send it on.

If you don’t, then you will never receive good sex again for the rest of your life. You will eventually become celibate, and your genitals will rot and fall off. This is no joke! Send copies to people you think need sex (who doesn’t?). Don’t send money, as the fate of your genitals has no price.

Do not keep this message, you must send it on within four days.

…MESSAGE ENDS

So remember that link; http://www.iceheat.org/clubtotti/2007/04/14/protect-your-genitals/ the sex fairy is watching

From what I’ve seen so far the quality is every bit as good as the famous Asian site but I’ve posted a picture and a movie gallery so you can judge for yourselves.

Meanwhile don’t forget to check out Seymour Totti’s Foreign Policy, and The world of Suzie Wong

]]> http://www.iceheat.org/clubtotti/index.php/2007/03/in-the-pink/feed/ 0 http://www.iceheat.org/clubtotti/index.php/2007/03/tangled-up-in-blue/ http://www.iceheat.org/clubtotti/index.php/2007/03/tangled-up-in-blue/#comments Sat, 24 Mar 2007 10:19:25 +0000 webmaster http://www.iceheat.org/clubtotti/2007/03/24/tangled-up-in-blue/
You’re probably wondering why Zeina is all wrapped up what appears to be a curtain or bed sheet. Well Zeina is Indian and Indian ladies happen to look great in large pieces of cloth. In India it would be called a sari and is a respectable item of clothing.

But I still prefer the idea of getting tangled up in large sheets. Especially if I can get tangled up in the same one that Zeina is tangled up in.

She apparently comes from east India. Now there is quite a lot of east India but judging by her skin colour I would suggest well to north of Chennai (formerly Madras). I’ve never been over that side of India but if the girls all look this good then it is high time I did.

I’ve already documented one of my trips to Goa, on the west coast.You can read that here

Isn’t it a wonderful song? It’s been a hit for Joe Cocker and Tom Jones but those versions both sounded too ready for the radio to me. My favourite version is still the original by Randy Newman. His delivery was so deliciously depraved and with an insistant piano lick which, like a nagging erection, was not going anywhere until it was satisfied.

Oliviyah wears quite a few hats in this set. She doesn’t wear much else but I don’t think that will bother you too much. They are very nice hats. Guess what I’d like to put on my head.

Well I really don’t know Brad but Kenji from Osaka certainly doesn’t think so. He is absolutely besotted with Iveta who I first posted here. I did mention to him that Met Art had hundreds of pictures and he said he knows. He’s already joined and downloaded them all, but he would still like me to post more.

When he finds out where she lives he’s wants to apply for the position of slave.

Gentlemen, if it gives you a stiff dick then as far as I’m concerned it’s normal. I like sushi, I like curry, I like cheeseburgers. Why should my appetite for sex be any different? So long as it is past the age of consent and walks on two legs (without dragging its knuckles on the floor) then you have my blessing.

These pics are you you.

Most guys like myself prefer to hire a maid to do all their washing, or they will take it down to the 24-hour place and pick it up the following day. Me I actually enjoy going down to the coin-operated laundry in my apartment complex. I try to choose my times well because there are some hot young wives who also do their laundry in the daytime while hubby is at the office. I try to coincidentally coincide.

To them I’m something of a novelty, perhaps they think I’m a little bit weird, but I am always polite and never forward. I may say “good morning” but I never try to start a conversation. After all they are respectable married women. I just sit and watch the tumble dryer tumbling and read my newspaper.

The other morning I saw a delightful black g-string with pink trim tumble from one lady’s dryer. There was no-one else there and she had obviously completely forgotten that I was. She picked them up and held them up high to the light, she admired them from both sides. So did I. Then she pressed them to her cheek to make sure that they were properly dry. It was then she remembered, glanced over and caught me watching her over the top of the newspaper. She blushed deeply … so did I.

She probably never wants to see me again, ever. But I shall be there again next week … just in case.

Our model today wouldn’t blush, take a look at what she keeps with the fabric softener.

I was talking with my travel agent the other day. He’s a good man, capable of shoe-horning me onto flights at the last minute even in the busiest of seasons … but I digress.

We were looking at these pictures of Leilani and trying to figure out what her ethnic background might be. Because, wherever it is, we both want to go there and see if there are any more.

We both seemed to think that she was probably an exotic cocktail, a delicious mix from far flung shores. There was clearly a fair amount of Latin, was there a touch of the orient or a little piece of Arabia in her too? I concluded that the world would be a much better place if she had a little bit of me in her. He suggested that she would be happier with a larger piece of him in there.

Obviously we weren’t going to see eye to eye on that score but we did agree that she was exceptionally beautiful and that she could probably make you shoot a load just by looking at you with those incredible ‘come to bed’ eyes.

“Excuse me,” he said, ushering me outside, “I have work to do.” With that he closed the door of his office. Bus as I turned to go I swear I heard the sound of a zipper unfastening.

Of course you can find loads of girls like Leilani at ATK Exotics. Just Click Here

I rented a place in Phuket, south of the island near Nai Harn Beach, some years ago. Lily reminds me of the landlords daughter. Quite often she and her friends would stop by for a chat. Most of them were students studying at the university and were glad of a free English lesson.

I, of course, had no objection to a bunch of lissom teenagers sitting on my lawn, especially as they always brought food.

So they would be asking me questions about computer terminology, stock-markets and jet propulsion and I would be thinking about licking mangos and sticky rice off of their supple bodies.